You've been in Dubai too long......

This has been around in various forms for ages but its very funny and yes, a lot of its true:

You know you have lived in Dubai too long when:

-You're not surprised to see a goat in the passenger seat
-You think the uncut version of "Little House on the Prairie" is racy
-You serve coffee in a thimble
-You need a sweater when it's 80 degrees Fahrenheit
-You expect everyone to own a mobile phone
-Your idea of housework is leaving a list for the houseboy (Sad but true.)
-You believe that speed limits are only advisory (What? You mean they're not? When did this happen?)
-You expect all police to drive BMWs or Merc's (That's because the Lambos are in the workshop)
-You know whether you are within missile range of Iran
-You believe that the definition of a nanosecond is the interval between the time the light turns green and the time that the guy behind you begins to blow his horn
-You can't buy anything without asking for a discount
-You have more carpets than floor space
-You expect all stores to stay open till midnight
-You understand that 'wadi bashing' isn't a criminal act
-You make left turns from the far right lane
-You send friends a map instead of your address (If someone asks for your address you'll probably say something like "The apartment block with the blue shutters next to the Ali Bin Ali supermarket opposite the mosque")
-You think it perfectly normal to have a picnic in the middle of a roundabout at 11pm
-You know exactly how much alcohol allowance you have left for the month
-You never say Saturday instead of Friday or Sunday instead of Saturday (The weekend here is Fri/Sat)
-You accept that there is no point in asking why you are not allowed to do something (Sigh.......)
-When you expect queues to be 1 person deep and 40 people wide
-When you realize that the black and white stripes in the road are not a zebra crossing, just bait to get tourists into the firing line
-You know what night is ladies night at every bar in town (Tuesday!!!!)
-When you carry 12 passport size photos around with you just in case (Ha? I only carry 4)
-When you can tell the time by listening to the local mosque (The muezzin at my local mosque is tone deaf. He couldn't hit a note if it came out and hit him first.)
-When you think it's a good night if there are fewer than 10 men for every woman in a bar
-When Habibi isn't just the ex-president of Indonesia
-When you overtake a police car at 130KM/HR
-When a problem with your car AC or horn is more serious to you than a problem with the brakes
-When you can smoke a shisha in public without expecting to be arrested
-When you think $5 is expensive for the latest Playstation game
-You think Pepsi begins with a 'B'
-You think only men should hold hands in public
-You think shopping malls are covered souqs