Having now - finally - driven to the end of Palm Jumeirah and seen the Atlantis Hotel up close, I'll say the unsayable: Its a G*d awful eyesore. No I'm not an architect or an expert of any kind, I'm just a person with eyes and what I'm seeing is a building with all the grace of a pro-wrestler in a tutu, and, like the image I've just put in your mind, the Atlantis is huge, garish and vaguely amusing in a disturbing way. You know, I wouldn't have been suprised to see big black crows circling its pointy spires which appear to have been transplanted from a castle in a Gothic horror movie. What the interior was like I can't tell you because we didn't get in. I hear the aquarium is fantastic and the water slides are fun but unfortunately on the day we were there the hotel's driveways were guarded and there were even security guys standing at each of the footpaths stopping punters from just walking in. So that's all I can tell you, except that I won't be going back. If I want to see a Gothic castle, I'll watch 'Rocky Horror'.